Volunteering - It's my thing

I've been pretty unmotivated lately when it comes to this blog. I think it might have something to do with the fact that I'm not really doing anything. I'm not exactly sure how to define myself; I'm not a volunteer, or involved in derby and I've come to the realization that my life doesn't have enough interesting characters in it to sustain such a cleverly written, witty and entertaining blog such as this. I think I'm kind of like, floundering. I am making daily weekly(sort of) updates at my wordpress blog - mywholefoodslife.wordpress.com, so if you're into food, you can check that out. I think really, I'm just bored. I don't have a lot going on, which is just weird for me. And I'm not all that entertaining without an audience. Who really wants to read about me getting up around 7, making coffee, getting the kids off to the bus stop, kissing my husband goodbye? I could talk about those first heavenly moments of silence as I walk back into the house after waving goodbye to the bus, and the motorcycle the DH is on... but after that, it's basically me wandering my house doing random things like laundry, or cleaning toilets or wasting the day online checking out blogs. I think I may have overstayed my welcome in housewifeville. I had a luncheon at the school that my younger two attend (a school I DO NOT volunteer at, despite my advocating for volunteering) and as I'm waiting for the show to start, I can't help but look around and think to myself how much smoother this would be going if I had been in charge.I then immediately think, "Oh know! I've turned into Erica!" Erica being one of my dearest friends, who is simply a natural leader, but is also highly competitive, regardless of the task, and always outdoes herself in anything she takes on. She has been known to "rework" other peoples dinner parties in her mind. She can't help herself. I love her anyways. After texting my husband to tell him my thoughts on the luncheon,and admit I was an asshole, I remembered a more recent event where my control issue reared it's ugly head. While out on a run with the hubby, he chose to go farther than our predetermined route. I disagreed. I ran to the already-decided-upon stop sign, and turned around. He went on. Later when he caught up with me, I made the declaration that I was a "leader not a follower"... I also said some other pretty mean stuff that isn't relative to this story. Huh... I'm a leader? When did this happen? I don't know, but it did. Sure, I might not look like your typical "A" personality, but I can take charge of ___________ (insert whatever here) and get it done. I might be quiet about it at first, but that's just the wheels starting to gain momentum. Remember Radar from MASH? That's pretty much my style. I might not command a room, but I have the answers and the gumption when you need something done. I think I miss it. Oh my God... I think I miss PTA and derby meetings. A schedule book that needs four colors of pen to organize all the goings-on. Proof?

Is that crazy or what? I went from at least 3 different meetings a week... to TWO in a MONTH.I won't lie, I was experiencing some burnout by May, and happy a few things would be over come June. Funny, those are the things I'm now missing in November. Sure, my husband would say I'm the "leader" of the house.Which is true, since nothing gets done around here with my input.But it's not like the kids rally even listen to me anymore, and they're all pretty much old enough to fend for themselves when it comes to food/hygiene/homework.So really, I'm the leader of grocery lists and making dinner and housework. Who want to be the leader of dirty underwear and dust bunnies? What kinda effed up stuff is that? I think I should be offended at that remark my husband didn't even make but I know he's thinking!! He might even say I'm just bossy. And I can't really take offense to that. My dear friend Erica once said, as a response to being asked why she didn't go into business making one of the numerous things she is ever so talented at,"because it isn't fun anymore when it's "work". I lose the love for it". My resume would put most stay-at-homers my age to shame. But more than half of the things that are on it were all done as an UNPAID service. As a Volunteer. I now understand exactly what Erica meant. I'm damn good at being a volunteer, and I have prestigious awards to show for it. I don't think I would choose to do any of those "unpaid" things as my "job". But... I'm starting to believe there isn't anything else in the world I love doing more. Re-working that luncheon in my head is proof of that.