Thanks giving

We have a tradition in our home of saying what we are thankful for before we stuff our faces with the delicious Thanksgiving meal that I single-handedly and graciously slave over each year. It's usually a quick, round -table style so as not to get a poetic waxer infringing upon our much anticipated first bite. This year, I was truly thankful for several things, but one that stands out the most is EVOLUTION. I don't mean that in an anti-Christian, Darwinism kind of way. Well, not entirely. Let me backtrack just a bit...
I come from nay-sayers and crutch havers, as do most of my peers, because that is the way of our parents generation. Always an excuse as to why they can't. Sometimes it's expectation that keeps dreams from being followed, sometimes it's stubbornness. Mostly, though, it's fear. Or fear of failure to be exact, because somewhere along the timeline of life, they were told failure is bad. Failure, my sweet readers is NOT bad, actually. Nor is it anything to be ashamed of. The dark shadow that lurks over that word is nothing more than the opportunity to learn. More times than not,I bet in each failure you have, you increase the knowledge of yourself tenfold. And you experience life.
So back to evolution: I realized recently, that I had bought into that crutch-haver bullshit. I have unrealistic fear. I sell myself short. I believe the self-deprecating humor I use to buffer anxiety. I don't really set goals. I set myself up for failure with a self sabotaging attitude. I'm a quitter. When the going get's tough, I throw in the towel and turn on the TV. But, a few years ago, I did something out of the norm. I went back to college. Well, I went to college, because I never really started to begin with. Guess what happened? I did really well. So with that little self esteem boost I started doing other little things that were out of the norm for me. Last year I started running. It took me 20 minutes to gasp through my first mile, now I can bang out 2 miles without dying. Do I run marathons? NO! But I am doing something I once told myself I couldn't do. The biggest leap for Heather kind this year was Roller Derby. Roller Derby is a competitive, full contact sport. I am neither competitive or full contact. Derby is more than just a witty name and tiny shorts. These women are athletes. True. Strong. Tough. And I am becoming one of them.
On my very first practice, while I was trying to look cool and doing my best to hide my fear and intimidation and clearly failing at both, one of the veteran skaters told me, " it's 98% mental". She is right. And that applies to way more then derby. That's life, baby! 98% of life is about getting the bull we buy into OUT and the positive IN. It's a work in progress, I still fail all over the place; I can't do a cross-over when I skate, I'm currently on hiatus from school, I still get nervous before I blog. In that failure is evolution. I am no longer a crutch haver. I am evolving. And I am truly thankful for that.

a little bit of Manic

Some people get "Baby Fever". You know, that need to have another baby, or touch every newborn they come across. Gross. I get something known in my house as "House Fever". I have a desperate need, want, desire to buy a house and make it my own. Sometimes this "fever" last a few weeks, sometimes months, but regardless of how long it lasts, it's all consuming. I eat, sleep, breathe house hunting. I Google and drive by. I peek into windows (mostly unoccupied) and spend hours on-line doing video tours. My car gets cluttered with those info fliers you pull from the FOR SALE sign. Sometimes I even go so far as to hit up our local Realtor and set up walk throughs. It's bad.
I think, in part, it comes from being chronic renters. As a Military family, you never really know how long you'll be in one spot, so it makes buying a little more involved. You have to think farther into the future of how your potential home will turn into a rental or a sale. In this economy, no one can really afford a 3 year turnover on a home. Plus, I romanticize about the next house we buy being "The One". Our retirement, or at least the place where we settle for quite some time, maybe even pass down to our kids. I LOVE our little town and I would LOVE to buy here.
I think another reason I'm having some Fever is because there is only so much you can do to a rental to make it "yours". The walls stay white (even if several variations), the kitchen or bathrooms keep the same outdated fixtures, there's no remodel in sight. It gets kinda boring and I think you either lose some creativity in the drab, or you spark some creativity to add a little something special to make what is essentially a borrowed space your own.
I think that is where I am at the moment. There is no way we are buying anything anytime soon. We're looking at a PCS in June, we just took on another car payment, and I'm not looking at going back to work anytime soon. Plus, we have a FANTASTIC view of the sound and Olympic mountain range that we could never afford if not for this rental. Soooo... to try to squelch this fever, I have been on an "update" rampage in my house this week. I've updated some decor in our bedroom, completely re-arranged the upstairs great room ,kitchen and downstairs living room, and even done some touch ups to the bathrooms. And since I'm on a budget and believe in reducing commercialism to better our environment, everything has been either second hand (either from thrifts or online)or re-purposed items I already owned.
It's given me some control over my desire to buy a house, and my hectic life, and it feels good to change things up a bit. And at the end of the day, I feel good that I still have those last few dollars in the bank :)
I still have a few projects on the burner, but I'm hoping to settle back down by weeks end; I'm sure much to the delight of my husband. I still might have some house fever, but in the process I've weeded out some things that where clutter, made a few dollars and found a little bit of balance. And even some compliments form the other people who live in my domicile <3 Some tips to spruce up your look: **I am a lover of the Goodwill, but not everyone feels the same way. If you can't even consider using second hand curtains, fine, but you can use the Goodwill for other things. Americana is a very popular look right now, and if you stroll the aisles of your local Thrift, you will find little wooden shelves, metal candle holders and picture frames for super cheap. All you need is a can of matte black spray paint, and you've got yourself some do-it-yourself decor. **Move items from one room into another. If that cute bathroom shelf if just collecting dust, move it into the kitchen and add hooks to hang some teacups or coffee mugs. Does that old dresser have sentimental value but no real purpose? Add some paint or go to www.vinylwallart.com and pick some reusable decals to spruce it up. ** Take a walk through your garage or storage shed. My bet is it is overflowing with random crap that can either be re-purposed (i.e, use some older curtain rods to hang quilts/blankets) or sold on many of the online sales sites for extra cash

in your pocket(one of my favs is www.lewisyardsales.com, look for a bookoo in your area)

*********PICS**********

The framed pictures are actually sheets from an old calendar I found at the Goodwill for a buck. Had the frames already, just switched out the pictures. The shelf was an ugly pinkish color I did a haphazard spray paint on. Another Thrift find for $2.50.

The picture of my dining room shows an old Avon collectibles (Dereks Grandmothers) we display and my grandmothers dresser (which lived through an apartment fire) I use now as a buffet.