Mom, mom, MOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!

Well, I thought I was ahead of the game, as it is Wednesday and I'm a-bloggin'. But then I realized I didn't blog last Thursday. Please forgive my offense, as it was Gracie's birthday, annnnnd she was sick all week which means mom didn't get much done but snuggling on the couch.
So today as I was on the elliptical, catching up on some DVR, Gracie walks downstairs and informs me she needs immediate help with her homework. I find this odd for two reasons; the first being she had already told me her chores (including homework) were done when she was planted in front of the television getting her 'Good Luck Charlie' fix not 20 minutes previous to this new discussion, and secondly, because every time I get on the elliptical (or net book, or telephone) she needs my attention. Immediately. So just like any other day I'm on the elliptical and she tries to interrupt, I tell her " This is my time. In 45 minutes you can ask me all the question you want, but you have to wait". Big frown. Because, of course, her need is immediate.
She isn't the only one in my house who is guilty of this offense, so I am left asking myself, where in the heck did I go wrong in the parenting I do, to make my kids so dang insensitive to my needs and my time.
Of course, I know that I'm the perfect parent, so it can't be MY parenting skills {looks over at husband}.
I realize, it's kids in general who are self involved, because that's just where they are in their development. Even Patience, who is 17, is still very much self centered and oblivious to respecting anyone elses time. When she asks for something, she needs it 10 minutes ago, and she expects everyone to comply. I can't even begin to describe how annoying it is. Even more annoying is after fighting with Gracie for a good 2 minutes on why she needed to skip the area in her homework she was having issues with and move on, when I did go up and help her, she could actually do it on her own. Big frown again, only this time from me.
Sometimes I want to scream "do you even realize how much time I spent doing things for YOU today!?" Sometimes I do actually scream that. And then everyone looks at me like I'm a crazy person, because of course they don't know how much time I spent doing things for them, they were too busy doing there own thing. They don't see the hours put in at PTA, cleaning the house, grocery shopping, planning, organizing schedules. That's just what MOM's do, right?
I think, by far, the most frustrating thing, though is when I am clearly in the middle of something, be it typing, talking,cooking, what-have-you, and Derek will be in THE SAME ROOM and the kid(s) will shout "Mom". "Mom, can you (insert dumb question here). Mom! Mom! Mom! Are you kidding? Why don't they ever shout "DAD!"?
We try so hard, when they're cute little balls of baby chub, to get them to say it. Constantly repeating "mama, maaaama, ma-maaa", and always so dejected when they inevitably say "da-da". Ohhhh, but not to worry, as they will spend the next forever years shouting "MOM!" There are days when I really think I can't handle one more mom call.
The funny thing is, I can't remember a time when I wasn't "mom", because I've been one for so long. And no matter how frustrated I get at those little shenaniganizers,
my world revolves around their goofball antics.As much as I'd like for them to use "Dad" more, we all know it just won't happen. I'm mom. I make things happen, I get shiz done, and I answer when they shout out.
Hey, out of all the things I've been called, "Mom" is by far not the worst.

getting organized

This week has found me in full manic form, bouncing from room to room, purging and piling, recycling and shredding and in all senses of the word : ORGANIZING.
I remember the days of my early adulthood, when I was quite the organizer. Files got filed, boxes got labeled. A place for everything and everything in it's place. What the eff happened to that girl? Now I'm in constant "pile search" mode. I can't keep track of anything, and clutter is having it's way with me. I would like to say that the good housekeeper in me has decided to crack the whip and get her house in order because it's her job, but...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Sorry... what was I saying? I just lost track of my thoughts laughing hysterically at that last statement... oh yeah, getting organized. It isn't pride, it's the looming PCS. DUN DUN DUN For any of you non mil - peeps who might read this blog, a PCS is a Permanent Change of Station, or Army speak for moving. We will most likely be PCS-ing this summer, and after being stationed here at Ft. Lewis for an unheard of 5 years, we have accumulated a shit ton of unnecessary items. On top of the military gear, (three deployments worth), my dad invading my garage and filling every nook and cranny, and three kids worth of stuff, my immediate household has taken to unorganized chaos from the hours put in at PTA, Roller Derby, activities for the kids and shear laziness. But I am reclaiming my once tidy home, one trash bag and Ebay pile at a time.
But why freak out about a PCS that's nearly 6 months away, you ask? Well, for one, it's never too soon to start preparing for the Army to send you somewhere. Ever.
Secondly, and the most important reason , really, is that our little darling Patience will be graduating from High School in June and we will be so busy with her shenanigans that I don't want to be pressed for time or a slave to getting a house organized and ready for a move.
Thirdly, we are doing a partial move. Our move is only for 6 months, and from there Derek will get his next assignment and duty station, so we don't think it would be smart to move all of our stuff when we know we won't be able to fit it and /or use it and /or need it. Better to sort through what we don't need at all now, then step on over to what we won't need for the move and let the Army store it for us.
In all honesty, lastly, I think it's also about control. I have lost a bit of control over my household in general, but I am also losing control over major life events. My baby is moving out of OUR house, spreading her wings and becoming an adult and on top of that the rest of us are also leaving behind what is comfortable (we've been here a long time) for the unknown.
Both of these things make me nervous, but the former has me losing sleep.
So I guess my best way of coping with both situations is to organize the hell out of my house, get back to pile-free living, try to earn a few bucks on the backside from all my unwanted "treasures" and free up the time to enjoy the last months here in Washington and also as the Foster-party-of-5.
Soooo... In the true Heather tradition, I'd like to give you a few links to help you get organized, sell your crap and get s jump start on Spring cleaning!

AS you know, Goodwill and Thrift on Post are great places to DONATE
but did you know our JBLM Thrift takes consignments? Heck yes! Check them out T, W, TH 9:30 - 2 for details. Earn some money on your gently used items.
Also a great place to find items to organize your life for a fraction of the retail cost.

HALF PRICE BOOKS
I can't say enough awesome things about this chain. We have one here, in Tacoma, by the mall. They BUY books/cds/dvds/video games/bluray/games/ etc.
http://www.hpb.com

Ebay and Craiglsist are great, but have you bookoo'd?
Bookoo - it's like an online yardsale. Look for one in your area
http://www.lewisyardsales.com/

Check out some organizing Blogs for FREE tips
http://orgjunkie.com/

Involved in a moms group (MOPS, PWOC, co-op daycare)? Box up your reusable "treasures" and have a swap.
A few years ago I went through all my cleaners and pared down to a few basics, but I had hundreds of dollars worth of still nearly full bottles of cleaners, solutions, even mops and brushes.I didn't want to just toss 'em, so I took a box in to a PTA meeting and those items lasted about 10 seconds. I also do this when I have all the leftover food/supplies when a friend clears housing.

Things I love

With Valentines Day looming (don't act like you forgot)I thought I would do a bit of a bloggy homage. We all know Valentines day isn't a real holiday, but, rather, an excuse for corporate America to put their business into the red by hawking schwag, dispensing guilt and laying on the pressure for relationships old and new. Men resent having to go overboard to "show" their lady friend how much they "love" them. Women try to outdo each other in the " who has the better man" category. And if your single... well this day just reaffirms that nobody will ever want you. No amount of cards, chocolates or roses will ever live up to the hype brought about by jewelers, Hallmark and our own insecurities. Love should always start from within. You can't really love another until you love yourself.
So I'm turning Valentines Day into a day of reflection. Here are a few of the things I love, not in any specific order except how they came to mind:

1. I love my husband. He's my best friend and he cracks me up.
2. I love the little butterfly magnet Erica left on my bed when she moved 2 years ago. It's still in the same spot.
3. I love the ocean.I love warm sand between my toes and I don't get enough of it here.
4. I love FaceBook and reconnecting with friends, and keeping connected to family.
5. I love my phone. I take it with me everywhere, a silly side effect from constant deployments.
6. I love the Pacific Northwest and all there is to do here. Mountains, forests, ocean; its beautiful.
7. I love being a mom. It's the hardest job I'll ever do, but I hear, the most rewarding. Fingers crossed!
8. I love how music can take you back in time, fill you with emotion, and change your mood.
9. I LOVE ROLLER DERBY
10. I love sitting on my couch in my sweats with a bowl of popcorn,snuggled in between the kids, or cozied up to Derek.
11. I love a good night out with friends! A good group of friends is always the answer.
12. I love shave ice. In Hawaii. Matsumoto or Aokis is fine by me.
13. I love sleep. Naps are heavenly.
14. I love all the good times had on Adams St. I miss them.
15. I love this blog and my sweat readers who encourage me :)
16. I love a good sunset.
17. I love my moms photography
18. I love comic book movies. I love any movie that has action and makes me laugh.
19. I love to laugh. I think most of the worlds problems could be solved with laughter.
20. I love the feeling I get when I accomplish something I thought was beyond me.
21. I love hanging out with my family in Clovis and reliving our youth!
22. I love the life my husband provides for us.
23. I love a clean, organized house.
24. I love Pennys mac and cheese
25. I love the sound of Derek's bike when he pulls into the drive
26. I love not knowing what the future brings. Life is about change.

This Valentine's Day I'm going to celebrate the love I have around me, and expect only the same in return. Take THAT Hallmark.

Birthdays

We are on the cusp of what we call the "birthday season" here in the Foster house. It starts with me on February 7th, followed by Gracie. (Valentines Day buffers us), then we head into March, were we have Aunt Shea, then Ruby. It's like every week has a celebration attached. It's overwhelming. Especially since we kinda go overboard for birthdays. As a family of 5, with three kiddos, it's tough to find time for everyone, so we make birthdays all about that special someone. It usually involves a lot of dollar store decorating and balloons,dinner of your choice (either prepared or out on the town) and it all begins with breakfast in bed. And that's just the day of the birthday. Parties are another story all together. It's ridiculous, really. I blame myself, of course. I am an only child, and my parents divorced when I was very young, so my birthday was really the only time both parents came together and celebrated. And on the years they didn't spend it together with me, I had two celebrations.
Pretty awesome for a little girl.
When Derek and I were first married, I made a big deal out of birthdays, and he didn't. I guess they weren't a big deal in his family. Through the years, though, he has really gotten into it. Even while deployed, he makes an effort to make it special for each of us. Often rearranging his schedule to stay up to video chat with the kids and see them have their breakfast in bed, or open gifts. It's sweet really.
But then you turn 36, and all of a sudden all that attention for you isn't as fun, or needed... or even wanted. Man, birthdays begin to suck. It's like this day that reminds you of all you left behind; the time, opportunities, the youth wasted, and the aging that lies ahead. I have wasted my fair share of time being miserable. Unhappiness, in any capacity, is just unfortunate. You let so much slip through your hands that you don't even realize the waste.I remember so many regrets vividly, but find that the happy things are harder and harder to bring to the surface of my memory. That, to me, is just scary. And i can't imagine living the next forever like that.
I decided I need to let go of that person I was when I was younger. The thin one, the insecure one, the happy one, the sad one, the one who always made bad decisions, and even the one who made the right ones. I can't ever get any of those Heathers back. I'll never wear a mini skirt again, I'll never drive through Del Taco drunk wearing only my bra and I'll never make googly eyes at the cover band at the club. Those were my 20's and they were fun, but they're gone.
I'm not the unsure ARMY wife I once was. I'm no longer co-dependent I'm not the person who lets people take advantage of her because I'm too nice to say no. My cape has been retired. My early 30's are gone and I'm wiser for them.
Today, I'm going to be the Heather that got married in Vegas, loves nerd movies, would rather hang out with the kids on the couch on a Friday night and goes by Smutt Peddler on the derby rink. I'm the Heather that wants to write erotica and short stories and get paid for it. While I mourn that lost youthful Heather with her grey-less hair and firm skin, it's time to embrace wiser, confident, and much more clever an witty Heather. Grey can be covered and creases can be plumped. Plus, Derek finds my "cougar chest" sexy!
So for all you sweet readers who are heading towards 40 (or have coasted past) embrace this life, make changes that are meaningful and stop looking backwards in regret.
And if you happen to be a sweat reader where 30 looms in the distance, remember to HAVE FUN,fall in love ,make mistakes and wear sunscreen <3 you'll thank me later.

AGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Oh my gosh. It's been FOREVER since I blogged. I hope you're still hanging in there sweet readers!I guess I should say Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!! As you can tell by my absence on the blogosphere, I have been BUSY!!! The holidays were hectic, and the after the holidays were hectic, and well, the end of winter and beginning of spring looks to be just as hectic. Which leads me to my long overdo posting on my poor neglected blog.
I am an over-do-er. I say yes too much, fill in too often, and ink things into my schedule book more than I need to. I am on the board of two different PTAs, was (until recently) involved in Dereks BN FRG (Family Readiness Group for you non-milspouses), and volunteer in supporting roles (as well as actively playing) in my Roller Derby league. I go to Army wife coffees, run the kids to gymnastics and attend committee meetings. I often spend my Monday mornings cooking and prepping my dinners for the week, because my evenings have become "go-time". At one of my PTA meetings, we all joke that I take up the last 1/3 of the meeting with things I'm responsible for. But it's not really a joke, because I actually AM responsible for them. Sometimes I actually pencil friends into my schedule book just to make sure I don't forget.
OH! How I love to volunteer. But I hate that I love it so much, that I let it infringe upon my "me" time. Like blogging, for instance. Or having an organized house. Or making a day date with a friend to catch up. Or finishing 4 short stories I started and promised myself I would have finished and submitted in contests by now.
What I think I have been lacking lately is self-discipline. Aside from my need to take on too much, I easily procrastinate things I need to get done, until I am overwhelmed with my TO DO list. And then I get mad at myself for having to push other things (things I procrastinated) to the back burner to get my most immediate things done. Ugh! It's like a vicious cycle.
It's not like this is a new trait with me, I have been this way, like forever. And really, wanting to help where help is needed isn't really a flaw, nor is prioritizing and knowing what can wait and what can't. But I realized, as I was inking into my schedule book (using 4 different color inks), that I have really left no time for me. So I have decided to make a pact with myself and I'm using my blog to keep me accountable fro my actions. Because whats better than putting something in INK in your day planner? Putting it in cyber-space, where 6 people might read it.
So starting Monday (1-31-11) Also known best by procrastinators as "tomorrow", I am starting a routine of:
Every morning, taking the time between 9-1030 for exercise.
MONDAY will be my food prep day
Thursday will be my BLOG POST and WRITING day
Friday PTA in the morning ONLY day
I will stick to this Schedule, take time for ME and learn to say NO to filling in, writing in ink and saying yes on MY TIME!!

Keep me honest people!

Thanks giving

We have a tradition in our home of saying what we are thankful for before we stuff our faces with the delicious Thanksgiving meal that I single-handedly and graciously slave over each year. It's usually a quick, round -table style so as not to get a poetic waxer infringing upon our much anticipated first bite. This year, I was truly thankful for several things, but one that stands out the most is EVOLUTION. I don't mean that in an anti-Christian, Darwinism kind of way. Well, not entirely. Let me backtrack just a bit...
I come from nay-sayers and crutch havers, as do most of my peers, because that is the way of our parents generation. Always an excuse as to why they can't. Sometimes it's expectation that keeps dreams from being followed, sometimes it's stubbornness. Mostly, though, it's fear. Or fear of failure to be exact, because somewhere along the timeline of life, they were told failure is bad. Failure, my sweet readers is NOT bad, actually. Nor is it anything to be ashamed of. The dark shadow that lurks over that word is nothing more than the opportunity to learn. More times than not,I bet in each failure you have, you increase the knowledge of yourself tenfold. And you experience life.
So back to evolution: I realized recently, that I had bought into that crutch-haver bullshit. I have unrealistic fear. I sell myself short. I believe the self-deprecating humor I use to buffer anxiety. I don't really set goals. I set myself up for failure with a self sabotaging attitude. I'm a quitter. When the going get's tough, I throw in the towel and turn on the TV. But, a few years ago, I did something out of the norm. I went back to college. Well, I went to college, because I never really started to begin with. Guess what happened? I did really well. So with that little self esteem boost I started doing other little things that were out of the norm for me. Last year I started running. It took me 20 minutes to gasp through my first mile, now I can bang out 2 miles without dying. Do I run marathons? NO! But I am doing something I once told myself I couldn't do. The biggest leap for Heather kind this year was Roller Derby. Roller Derby is a competitive, full contact sport. I am neither competitive or full contact. Derby is more than just a witty name and tiny shorts. These women are athletes. True. Strong. Tough. And I am becoming one of them.
On my very first practice, while I was trying to look cool and doing my best to hide my fear and intimidation and clearly failing at both, one of the veteran skaters told me, " it's 98% mental". She is right. And that applies to way more then derby. That's life, baby! 98% of life is about getting the bull we buy into OUT and the positive IN. It's a work in progress, I still fail all over the place; I can't do a cross-over when I skate, I'm currently on hiatus from school, I still get nervous before I blog. In that failure is evolution. I am no longer a crutch haver. I am evolving. And I am truly thankful for that.

a little bit of Manic

Some people get "Baby Fever". You know, that need to have another baby, or touch every newborn they come across. Gross. I get something known in my house as "House Fever". I have a desperate need, want, desire to buy a house and make it my own. Sometimes this "fever" last a few weeks, sometimes months, but regardless of how long it lasts, it's all consuming. I eat, sleep, breathe house hunting. I Google and drive by. I peek into windows (mostly unoccupied) and spend hours on-line doing video tours. My car gets cluttered with those info fliers you pull from the FOR SALE sign. Sometimes I even go so far as to hit up our local Realtor and set up walk throughs. It's bad.
I think, in part, it comes from being chronic renters. As a Military family, you never really know how long you'll be in one spot, so it makes buying a little more involved. You have to think farther into the future of how your potential home will turn into a rental or a sale. In this economy, no one can really afford a 3 year turnover on a home. Plus, I romanticize about the next house we buy being "The One". Our retirement, or at least the place where we settle for quite some time, maybe even pass down to our kids. I LOVE our little town and I would LOVE to buy here.
I think another reason I'm having some Fever is because there is only so much you can do to a rental to make it "yours". The walls stay white (even if several variations), the kitchen or bathrooms keep the same outdated fixtures, there's no remodel in sight. It gets kinda boring and I think you either lose some creativity in the drab, or you spark some creativity to add a little something special to make what is essentially a borrowed space your own.
I think that is where I am at the moment. There is no way we are buying anything anytime soon. We're looking at a PCS in June, we just took on another car payment, and I'm not looking at going back to work anytime soon. Plus, we have a FANTASTIC view of the sound and Olympic mountain range that we could never afford if not for this rental. Soooo... to try to squelch this fever, I have been on an "update" rampage in my house this week. I've updated some decor in our bedroom, completely re-arranged the upstairs great room ,kitchen and downstairs living room, and even done some touch ups to the bathrooms. And since I'm on a budget and believe in reducing commercialism to better our environment, everything has been either second hand (either from thrifts or online)or re-purposed items I already owned.
It's given me some control over my desire to buy a house, and my hectic life, and it feels good to change things up a bit. And at the end of the day, I feel good that I still have those last few dollars in the bank :)
I still have a few projects on the burner, but I'm hoping to settle back down by weeks end; I'm sure much to the delight of my husband. I still might have some house fever, but in the process I've weeded out some things that where clutter, made a few dollars and found a little bit of balance. And even some compliments form the other people who live in my domicile <3 Some tips to spruce up your look: **I am a lover of the Goodwill, but not everyone feels the same way. If you can't even consider using second hand curtains, fine, but you can use the Goodwill for other things. Americana is a very popular look right now, and if you stroll the aisles of your local Thrift, you will find little wooden shelves, metal candle holders and picture frames for super cheap. All you need is a can of matte black spray paint, and you've got yourself some do-it-yourself decor. **Move items from one room into another. If that cute bathroom shelf if just collecting dust, move it into the kitchen and add hooks to hang some teacups or coffee mugs. Does that old dresser have sentimental value but no real purpose? Add some paint or go to www.vinylwallart.com and pick some reusable decals to spruce it up. ** Take a walk through your garage or storage shed. My bet is it is overflowing with random crap that can either be re-purposed (i.e, use some older curtain rods to hang quilts/blankets) or sold on many of the online sales sites for extra cash

in your pocket(one of my favs is www.lewisyardsales.com, look for a bookoo in your area)

*********PICS**********

The framed pictures are actually sheets from an old calendar I found at the Goodwill for a buck. Had the frames already, just switched out the pictures. The shelf was an ugly pinkish color I did a haphazard spray paint on. Another Thrift find for $2.50.

The picture of my dining room shows an old Avon collectibles (Dereks Grandmothers) we display and my grandmothers dresser (which lived through an apartment fire) I use now as a buffet.