girls (and boys) just wanna have fun

I know I've been Debbie Downer for a few weeks, and from what I hear, so have some of me sweet readers! Life is hectic. And hard. And often times unrewarding. It's human nature to get caught up in the rut and forget our many blessings. Negativity is contagious. But you know what else is? Laughter. And Fun.
I was inspired to have some good old fashioned fun from a Facebook friend who had a little vacay with her significant other. Every picture posted was smiles and good times and silliness,something I have really been missing lately. So last weekend, I took the opportunity to let loose, and I had one heck of a night. Possibly one of the best nights I've had in years.
It all started with a mandatory Military Formal. I usually dislike these events because it's like a high school prom. Only slightly more snobby. Noisy dresses, tight up-dos and wives riding the coattail of their decorated soldier. As my husband is an Officer, I am surrounded by wives who take these things waaaaaay too seriously. I am also forced to be in the same space as people who, for whatever reason (probably because I'm too fun)dislike me or like me too much.

So this Ball started pretty much the same way. I was miffed at the price of the tickets, irritated at the start time, and put out that my husband was tasked to aid a General, and was to accompany said General to the Ball instead of me! I was stag to my own husbands formal. So lame. Luckily, I was able to meet up with one of my single ladies in the parking lot to get a little Amaretto Sour courage. Now, I don't know if it was from the Rangers spanking the Yankees in game 3, or that I was looking (and feeling) fierce in my $60 dress,silky hair and mega-makeup, but once I hit that parking lot, I was READY for a good time. I usually have to get a little tanked to get through these things without saying something I'll regret to someone who thinks they're important, so first stop was the bar. Ahhh... the overpriced bar is my friend. And so is starting a tab. While working on my second drink in ten minutes, in walks one of my dearest friends, looking fabulous in a dress I loaned her, because like me, she too thinks it's ridiculous for a grown woman to wear Taffeta and fuck-me pumps. Then another friend and her husband meet me at the bar and the next thing I know I'm surrounded by good friends, laughter and FUN! Did I mention my husband was looking oh-so-good in his Dress Blues?

Somehow after party plans were made while sitting through the formal portion and oddly enough, WE were part of them. Oh trouble. But I'm getting ahead of myself... because once the formal portion was over, it was Patron and hot dancing to a bad DJ. I even got Derek to push me around the floor with a two-step. We felt the need for speed in our aviator glasses as we stole a friends camera, and Derek pimped out a coworker to the SGM on the dance floor! Oh.. the looks we got were incredible. Our behavior was offensive to some, I hear. I call those people assholes. Did we drink a bit too much? Maybe. Were we loud and obnoxious? Sure. Did we have fun? Hells yes!! Because that's what those things are for right? Comradeship? Fraternity? FUN? Who cares if I do the roger rabbit in my bare feet? If the Colonel and his wife are enjoying the dance floor and gettin' their groove on, why shouldn't I? And ohhh Lord how I did. I think I danced to every good song... when I wasn't at the bar. I even interrupted a conversation to hit it to Ice Ice Baby. We basically closed the place down... I was getting nervous they would run out of top shelf vodka! Just when we thought it was time to head to the car to sober up with the Better Cheddars and Monster I had stashed, we found ourselves en route to Tacoma to meet up at a friends house and walk over to the meat market known as the Swiss. First off, a big shout out to our LDS friends the Louks for being non-drinkers and awesome DD's!Secondly, Liz, your apartment was the perfect distance from fun to home.
So after using shitty kitchen shears to hack up a friends formal dress and make it club appropriate, we were off( me and D still in ball gear) to shake shake shake shake a-shake it some more. Now, the great thing about going to a club as a 35 year old, is you realize what a dipshit you were at 25 and make amends with it. And man, it must have been cougar night fo sho! The people watching was amazing, but the laughter from our table was the BEST. So much fun had in one night, I can't even tell the whole story on one little blog. Great friends, good fun and LOTS of laughs was exactly what I needed to lift the funk I was in.
So if you start to feel the stress of too much real life, grab some friends put on your Sketchers and head out for a good time. And if you're like me, you won't come home 'till 3am!

CRAFT TIME

Ahhh... Fall.The changing colors of the trees, cooler weather and sweaters. The best thing about Fall, though? HALLOWEEN! My favorite holiday. "Why?", you ask. No, not because I love scary, gory creeps and crawlies, although those things are fun. I have always felt that Halloween ushers in the whole Holiday season, even if it doesn't get the full credit.
Every year at this time, the weather starts to change, I get my soup recipes out and we have a family ritual of going through our Halloween/Fall storage boxes and finding treasures we forgot we had. Yes, we decorate for Halloween. Not just pumpkins and fake spider webbing, either. I have scarecrows and light up jack-o-lanterns; Fall wreaths and random craft the kids make. I love to take a trip to the Goodwill and see what fantastic thing I can find to make my own. This year, I was inspired by Dia de los Muertos, also known as Day of the Dead (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Day_of_the_Dead). While I'm not of Mexican heritage, I have always been moved by this celebration of life. Our family has experienced our fair share of death and sadness, and I think that this observance is a wonderful way to honor those who have passed on. So, as a way to blend my love of Halloween and appreciation of the Dia de los Muertos holiday, we did a little family craft to start our own shrine. I'll be adding to this as the month goes on, but here are our crafts to start.
* the "Sugar Skulls" Are some black and gray glitter Styrofoam skulls I picked up at Ross for like 3 bucks. We added some patches(with glue) and some glitter paint to pizzaz them up. I think they turned out pretty awesome.
* The bucket was a Goodwill find that I spray painted black and decoupaged some Day of the Dead images I found online at http://www.fabricfreak.bigcartel.com and motherhenna.blogspot.com. I added some butterfly stickers and some fake floral for fun.
* last is the candle holder. While it's not really Dia de los Muertos-ish, I thought it was super cool looking. Another Goodwill find, it was a scratched up silver-y, brass-y that a sprayed black and added a large pillar I had laying around. It will fit a taper as well. I like the attached flame snuffer, I think it adds a Gothic charm that is always great for this time of year and it will make a cool backdrop for the framed pictures of our loved ones we plan to display.

I'm not a very crafty person, but Halloween seems to be my muse, and the kids are really into it too! This weekend: finishing up the costumes for the kids. I'm so excited this year. Ruby is going as Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas and Gracie is The Corpse Bride. This is gonna be an EPIC Halloween!

love is a battlefield

I think this blog is about to get a little too personal, but it is, after all, supposed to be not only cathartic, but practice for the real deal so here goes.

So I have been feeling a little off lately. OK, no. That's a lie. I've been feeling fed up and sick and tired and just plain DONE. I've even been pondering, for the last week or so, a change in my marital status. I don't think I really thought the "D" word, but I did ponder separation, and the logistics of that kind of decision.

Let's rewind. Let me take you back 14 years ago when I, a young single mom working as a waitress married a ridiculously good looking young Marine. We thought we could survive off of love, BAH and Taco Bell. And we did. We moved to Texas, bought a house, had two more beautiful kids and life was working. For a while. But then it wasn't. We lost our jobs, had to sell our house and nearly lost our minds. But we managed to get through it together. Was it love? Stubbornness? Craziness?

And for that last few years, we've been reintroducing ourselves to each other every time Derek returns home from another deployment. I would be lying again if I said that the every-other-year separation doesn't take it's toll. Because it does. With each deployment I became more self sufficient, and while some people may think that is an oxymoron for a Housewife, it's unforgivingly true.Sometimes, when you're the only one here to get things done, you get used to not depending on another person for help. Not even the person you promised to be a partner in life with. No one is at fault here, it's just the nature of the beast. And the beast doesn't give two shits about how it effects your marriage.

So here we are, back to me contemplating this thing called marriage. See, 14 years later, I'm far too smart, or learned, or worldly to believe that you can count on love to make it work, because I do love my husband and the thought of living my life without him in it is paralyzing. But I guess my unhappiness stems from not knowing what role we actually play in each others lives anymore. We're hardly partners. Are we friends with benefits? Are we in some sort of marital limbo, where we go through the motions, but we don't actually progress or evolve? Would we be better not together than we are together? And I guess my biggest question is; are my doubts normal?

BIG SIGH... 14 years is going to produce peaks and valleys, and we've always weathered the storms together. At the end of the day, I know divorce isn't an option. I don't want it to be, and even if I have contemplated it,I would never uproot my kids, nor would I ever want Derek to be a weekend dad.
And I love him. Godammit I love that man with my whole heart and regardless of how hard it is to be with him sometimes, it's always twice as hard to be without him.

I just laughed out loud, realizing, you can survive on love. I'm doing it right now. And I have my Blog to prove it.

the definition of a Housewife

Ever googled the word "Housewife"? Wikipedia dumbs it down to "... a married female who does not work outside the home." Funny, because I feel as though I work my ass off from 7:30 am to 10:30 pm most days,and my car would agree. Merriam-Webster states I am a "married woman in charge of a household." Is it strange that none of the definitions say anything about being a maid? Or a doormat. But conversely that is exactly how I have felt lately.
I run a home, not a restaurant. What I make for dinner is what you will eat. If you have somehow become repulsed by the food I have spent years perfecting to your tastes, make yourself a sandwich. In case you don't know, I actually spend several hours a week planning a menu, clipping coupons and revolving our dinner choices around your suggestions.

I'm not a maid. I will do the laundry, vacuum, and all the other random chores that need to be done, because I "run a household". You all have chores, DO THEM. When you drop/spill/break something, clean it up. We don't have an "oops" fairy, if you notice your pencil shavings have vanished from the floor where you left them, I CLEANED IT UP. I took time away from the items on my "TO DO" list, to clean up after you.

My time is just as important as your time. I don't actually sit and wait for you to have a problem you need me to fix. If I worked outside the home, would I get as many calls and texts regarding randoms "emergencies". The answer is HELL TO THE NO. If I am in the middle of something, don't interrupt me. If you need something done ASAP, you should have told me about it when you actually found out about it. I do not mind helping you, but don't expect me to drop what I am doing to fix your problem unless you're bleeding or vomiting. This includes when i am away from the house or in the bathroom.

Just like a park, the house should be left in better condition than you found it. I spend a good portion of my day undoing the living that goes on in our domicile. I'm not asking you to clean the toilet with your toothbrush,but I don't want to walk through the house at ten o'clock and find messes all over the area I spent cleaning.

Learn to communicate. I am not a translator nor should I need to mediate every conversation. If your question starts by asking me something about someone else in this household i want you to do this : Stop. Think about what you're going to say. Ask the appropriate person. In the really real world, you bring up your issues to people directly.

Lastly, I have feelings too. I am not here to be your punching bag. I work VERY hard to ensure you have what you need.I shop for you, I clean for you, I pick up random odds and ends, I drop off forgotten lunches. I bring you goodies when you need them, I send you encouraging words when I know you have stress. I put you in your place when you need some grounding and I teach you that the world isn't fair, you will get hurt or angry or disappointed, but you will always have a family that loves you. While I do it because I love you, it doesn't mean that you should take it for granted. Everyone needs to feel appreciated.
Even Housewives.

better intentions

So my summer of blogging was pretty un-bloggy. For several reasons, really, but the most important being this; my eldest daughter is a senior in high school and it dawned on me about mid July that this was our last summer together as a family. Sadness. In June of next year we will be off to Virginia for six months of military school, and she will stay here in Washington to finish her AA. After that none of us know what we'll be doing or where we'll be headed. So, mostly for that reason, I put the blogging on hold and traded that time for, well, time. I hope I spent it well. I think I did. There are already some conversations I would like to take back, some I still need to have, but for the most part, I think this summer we really focused on doing things as a family, and just spending time doing the small stuff together. Summer went a little too quick for me, but we have a whole school year left, and we plan to make the best of it. These are the last birthdays, dances, Holidays and random moments we will spend together as a full family. It's bittersweet, really. But I think this will be a test in strength for all of us. We have raised a little girl into a young women, and soon we will send her off into the world to be a functioning (hopefully) adult. It's scary and exciting and very blog-worthy!!
So here's to the end of summer! Maybe we didn't mark all our to-do's off our list, but sometimes re-prioritizing helps us accomplish more.

pardon my offensiveness

There are two places I loathe and avoid like the plague: Wal-Mart and the Commissary. I had to visit both today. I'm sure I'm about to piss some people off, but as an American, I'm just as entitled to my opinion as any other jask-ass out there, and since this is MY blog, I'm going to give my two cents.

We all know why Wal-Mart is bad. I don't even need to explain my trip. Just go on over to http://www.peopleofwalmart.com and that really says it all. they draw you in with there cheap ass prices, but think about it America, is it really worth it?

So I shall tell a tale of the Commissary, since this is an experience so many of my civilian friends miss out on. It's similar to Wal-Mart in many ways, yet uniquely military, in that it's an on post(or base) grocery store. For the past year, I've avoided doing my shopping there,mostly because I was never really on post much, and well, I HATE going. But I have to admit the prices are great, and I've noticed they now carry some harder-to-find items I keep on my list ( I love you Terra chips and Fage). Dammit. So today, after the gym, I took my trusty coupon organizer, small grocery list and weekly menu on over to the suckiest place on earth, and let me tell you, I was not left disappointed. As soon as I pulled into the parking lot, my regret hit me: CASE LOT SALE. Ugh. Case lot sale is a tent in the parking lot where you can buy bulk items (a la Costco). The MilSpouse does love cases of canned peas and whatnot. What does this mean to me? Crappy parking in an already crappy parking lot. I usually park in the outskirts anywhoo, to avoid being backed into, or backing over an unsupervised child, but the case lot sale means more people lolly-gagging in the aisles, and blocking to driveway. Grrr. Once inside, though a calm came over me when I noticed that, although the parking lot was a nightmare, the actual store was quiet. Nice. Another plus: the usually grody-looking produce looked fairly un-grody. "Maybe I've been too hard on the old Commissary" , I thought to myself and just as I was checking out the nectarines it happened; the shrill scream of a preschooler, followed by a bag of marshmallows being thrown in the face of his elementary school brother, followed by elementary school brother screaming "KNOCK IT OFF!!!", followed by out-to-here preggers mom yelling "ENOUGH!!".
I would love to say that this was just an isolated incident, and the rest of my now rushed shopping experience was pleasant, but alas, this wouldn't really be a blog worthy story now would it?
So it seemed that out-to-here preggers mom with three unruly boys ( all under 7 I would say) and I were on the same shopping path. Crap. I actually skipped three aisles, just to meet up with them in the frozen section, hearing her yell down each row for her children to behave, not to hit, and to keep their hands to themselves. I skillfully dodged tater tots being torn out of moms hands and tossed at, not to, young toddler in cart. Did she even acknowledge me? Of course not. I realized two things in that moment: 1.)Thank God I don't have to take my kids to the grocery store with me anymore and 2.) When did manners become passe`?
Before you get all judgmental on me, I realize kids act up. They whine and ask for things they know they can't have. No kid I know enjoys the grocery errand. This situation was beyond that. Several people in the store made comments about mom yelling and threatening. She wasn't quiet about it. And whatever she was saying was falling on deaf ears anyhow.
Of course, this is only one of the reasons i dislike the Commissary. But it happens EVERY TIME I go. And other times, I will run in to some random spouse who dislikes me, of course, when I look my worst. Or a spouse who likes me, but I avoid because i didn't feel the love connection. Or I have to slowly snake through aisle after aisle of snails pace rascal driver, high heeled hoochie mamma dressed for trickin'(who needs to shop for perishables in a fox fur, mesh shirt and leather mini?) and family of 8 with three shopping carts. Then once I'm done gathering my edibles, I get to wait in line for a number to be called,show my ID, ask for paper and then pay an older than dirt Korean grandma to haul my heavy ass basket to my car so she can earn a tip to support her retired American soldier,
Yeah, fine, I'm a bitch for wanting to get in and out of the store with my cart full of items and no headache. I'm not proud of my thoughts during these adventures, which is why I avoid going in the first place. Alas, I have to budget like everyone else, and at least it's not Wal-Mart.

it's been a while...

Greetings Sweet Readers!! How are you? Time sure flies when you're having... a life.
So, it's been a few since I last put manicured fingers to keyboard, but I have so much fun and exciting news to share.
In the last weeks (months) since I blogged, we have experienced a loss in the family ( Rest in Peace sweet Meemaw Dorothy), A homecoming ( Derek made it home last month YAY!), A Family Vacation ( Oahu suckers) and the end of yet another school year (God save me from summer vacation). There have been, of course, so many things in between those major events, but I don't have the memory I once did, nor do I have the desire to yakity-yak about 6 weeks worth of my life and it's randomness. I do plan to blog on the regular, and I will be posting soon, a thorough account of our fabulos-o North Shore vacation, not just to brag, but also to give some good tips on travel in that area. And now to pimp out my new blog:
I've decided to have some adventures this summer,with the help of my kiddos and some good friends, and I hope to drag Derek along for a few too. I am going to be blogging about these adventures in the South Sound area, and while my blog is going to be geared mostly at Mil Families stationed and or visiting the area, I'm sure those of you non-locals will find some interest. My days are rarely boring. So hop on over to http://whatsgoindowninthesouthsound.blogspot.com/ in the next few days and check out whats goin' down.

...i'll be back...