the definition of a Housewife

Ever googled the word "Housewife"? Wikipedia dumbs it down to "... a married female who does not work outside the home." Funny, because I feel as though I work my ass off from 7:30 am to 10:30 pm most days,and my car would agree. Merriam-Webster states I am a "married woman in charge of a household." Is it strange that none of the definitions say anything about being a maid? Or a doormat. But conversely that is exactly how I have felt lately.
I run a home, not a restaurant. What I make for dinner is what you will eat. If you have somehow become repulsed by the food I have spent years perfecting to your tastes, make yourself a sandwich. In case you don't know, I actually spend several hours a week planning a menu, clipping coupons and revolving our dinner choices around your suggestions.

I'm not a maid. I will do the laundry, vacuum, and all the other random chores that need to be done, because I "run a household". You all have chores, DO THEM. When you drop/spill/break something, clean it up. We don't have an "oops" fairy, if you notice your pencil shavings have vanished from the floor where you left them, I CLEANED IT UP. I took time away from the items on my "TO DO" list, to clean up after you.

My time is just as important as your time. I don't actually sit and wait for you to have a problem you need me to fix. If I worked outside the home, would I get as many calls and texts regarding randoms "emergencies". The answer is HELL TO THE NO. If I am in the middle of something, don't interrupt me. If you need something done ASAP, you should have told me about it when you actually found out about it. I do not mind helping you, but don't expect me to drop what I am doing to fix your problem unless you're bleeding or vomiting. This includes when i am away from the house or in the bathroom.

Just like a park, the house should be left in better condition than you found it. I spend a good portion of my day undoing the living that goes on in our domicile. I'm not asking you to clean the toilet with your toothbrush,but I don't want to walk through the house at ten o'clock and find messes all over the area I spent cleaning.

Learn to communicate. I am not a translator nor should I need to mediate every conversation. If your question starts by asking me something about someone else in this household i want you to do this : Stop. Think about what you're going to say. Ask the appropriate person. In the really real world, you bring up your issues to people directly.

Lastly, I have feelings too. I am not here to be your punching bag. I work VERY hard to ensure you have what you need.I shop for you, I clean for you, I pick up random odds and ends, I drop off forgotten lunches. I bring you goodies when you need them, I send you encouraging words when I know you have stress. I put you in your place when you need some grounding and I teach you that the world isn't fair, you will get hurt or angry or disappointed, but you will always have a family that loves you. While I do it because I love you, it doesn't mean that you should take it for granted. Everyone needs to feel appreciated.
Even Housewives.

better intentions

So my summer of blogging was pretty un-bloggy. For several reasons, really, but the most important being this; my eldest daughter is a senior in high school and it dawned on me about mid July that this was our last summer together as a family. Sadness. In June of next year we will be off to Virginia for six months of military school, and she will stay here in Washington to finish her AA. After that none of us know what we'll be doing or where we'll be headed. So, mostly for that reason, I put the blogging on hold and traded that time for, well, time. I hope I spent it well. I think I did. There are already some conversations I would like to take back, some I still need to have, but for the most part, I think this summer we really focused on doing things as a family, and just spending time doing the small stuff together. Summer went a little too quick for me, but we have a whole school year left, and we plan to make the best of it. These are the last birthdays, dances, Holidays and random moments we will spend together as a full family. It's bittersweet, really. But I think this will be a test in strength for all of us. We have raised a little girl into a young women, and soon we will send her off into the world to be a functioning (hopefully) adult. It's scary and exciting and very blog-worthy!!
So here's to the end of summer! Maybe we didn't mark all our to-do's off our list, but sometimes re-prioritizing helps us accomplish more.

pardon my offensiveness

There are two places I loathe and avoid like the plague: Wal-Mart and the Commissary. I had to visit both today. I'm sure I'm about to piss some people off, but as an American, I'm just as entitled to my opinion as any other jask-ass out there, and since this is MY blog, I'm going to give my two cents.

We all know why Wal-Mart is bad. I don't even need to explain my trip. Just go on over to http://www.peopleofwalmart.com and that really says it all. they draw you in with there cheap ass prices, but think about it America, is it really worth it?

So I shall tell a tale of the Commissary, since this is an experience so many of my civilian friends miss out on. It's similar to Wal-Mart in many ways, yet uniquely military, in that it's an on post(or base) grocery store. For the past year, I've avoided doing my shopping there,mostly because I was never really on post much, and well, I HATE going. But I have to admit the prices are great, and I've noticed they now carry some harder-to-find items I keep on my list ( I love you Terra chips and Fage). Dammit. So today, after the gym, I took my trusty coupon organizer, small grocery list and weekly menu on over to the suckiest place on earth, and let me tell you, I was not left disappointed. As soon as I pulled into the parking lot, my regret hit me: CASE LOT SALE. Ugh. Case lot sale is a tent in the parking lot where you can buy bulk items (a la Costco). The MilSpouse does love cases of canned peas and whatnot. What does this mean to me? Crappy parking in an already crappy parking lot. I usually park in the outskirts anywhoo, to avoid being backed into, or backing over an unsupervised child, but the case lot sale means more people lolly-gagging in the aisles, and blocking to driveway. Grrr. Once inside, though a calm came over me when I noticed that, although the parking lot was a nightmare, the actual store was quiet. Nice. Another plus: the usually grody-looking produce looked fairly un-grody. "Maybe I've been too hard on the old Commissary" , I thought to myself and just as I was checking out the nectarines it happened; the shrill scream of a preschooler, followed by a bag of marshmallows being thrown in the face of his elementary school brother, followed by elementary school brother screaming "KNOCK IT OFF!!!", followed by out-to-here preggers mom yelling "ENOUGH!!".
I would love to say that this was just an isolated incident, and the rest of my now rushed shopping experience was pleasant, but alas, this wouldn't really be a blog worthy story now would it?
So it seemed that out-to-here preggers mom with three unruly boys ( all under 7 I would say) and I were on the same shopping path. Crap. I actually skipped three aisles, just to meet up with them in the frozen section, hearing her yell down each row for her children to behave, not to hit, and to keep their hands to themselves. I skillfully dodged tater tots being torn out of moms hands and tossed at, not to, young toddler in cart. Did she even acknowledge me? Of course not. I realized two things in that moment: 1.)Thank God I don't have to take my kids to the grocery store with me anymore and 2.) When did manners become passe`?
Before you get all judgmental on me, I realize kids act up. They whine and ask for things they know they can't have. No kid I know enjoys the grocery errand. This situation was beyond that. Several people in the store made comments about mom yelling and threatening. She wasn't quiet about it. And whatever she was saying was falling on deaf ears anyhow.
Of course, this is only one of the reasons i dislike the Commissary. But it happens EVERY TIME I go. And other times, I will run in to some random spouse who dislikes me, of course, when I look my worst. Or a spouse who likes me, but I avoid because i didn't feel the love connection. Or I have to slowly snake through aisle after aisle of snails pace rascal driver, high heeled hoochie mamma dressed for trickin'(who needs to shop for perishables in a fox fur, mesh shirt and leather mini?) and family of 8 with three shopping carts. Then once I'm done gathering my edibles, I get to wait in line for a number to be called,show my ID, ask for paper and then pay an older than dirt Korean grandma to haul my heavy ass basket to my car so she can earn a tip to support her retired American soldier,
Yeah, fine, I'm a bitch for wanting to get in and out of the store with my cart full of items and no headache. I'm not proud of my thoughts during these adventures, which is why I avoid going in the first place. Alas, I have to budget like everyone else, and at least it's not Wal-Mart.

it's been a while...

Greetings Sweet Readers!! How are you? Time sure flies when you're having... a life.
So, it's been a few since I last put manicured fingers to keyboard, but I have so much fun and exciting news to share.
In the last weeks (months) since I blogged, we have experienced a loss in the family ( Rest in Peace sweet Meemaw Dorothy), A homecoming ( Derek made it home last month YAY!), A Family Vacation ( Oahu suckers) and the end of yet another school year (God save me from summer vacation). There have been, of course, so many things in between those major events, but I don't have the memory I once did, nor do I have the desire to yakity-yak about 6 weeks worth of my life and it's randomness. I do plan to blog on the regular, and I will be posting soon, a thorough account of our fabulos-o North Shore vacation, not just to brag, but also to give some good tips on travel in that area. And now to pimp out my new blog:
I've decided to have some adventures this summer,with the help of my kiddos and some good friends, and I hope to drag Derek along for a few too. I am going to be blogging about these adventures in the South Sound area, and while my blog is going to be geared mostly at Mil Families stationed and or visiting the area, I'm sure those of you non-locals will find some interest. My days are rarely boring. So hop on over to http://whatsgoindowninthesouthsound.blogspot.com/ in the next few days and check out whats goin' down.

...i'll be back...

I am working on finishing some blog drafts I started, but I don't know how to Edit the date, So they will post in the month I started them, dangit!
New post last night Titled The Deployment Bed Is listed in February

4 more weeks

I haven't blogged in a while. I have a million things going on, kids, school., PTA, and I have a few drafts saved, but I really haven't had too much of interest to say. Or I guess I really haven't been able to organize thought to word. It just hasn't been a priority. But tonight I had one of those moments, where emotion grabs you and makes you feel. And it had been such a long time that I felt like this, so long, that I hadn't even noticed I was missing it, and I just had to get it down on "paper".

My dad has gotten me hooked on "Parenthood". It's a great show, and the characters are interesting and its easy to get lost in the writing. Tonight there was a scene, at the end, where a couple where laying in bed together, talking about their son, when the son came in and crawled in bed with them, and it was supposed to be this perfect family moment for them, and then the husband,realizing how perfect an imperfect life can be, brushes his wife's forehead with his thumb. And I FELT that brush on my forehead. For a split second, I actually remembered what it felt like for Derek to be here with me, to touch my forehead, to FEEL him here. I was in a moment of life , happening in real time, with him. And then I blinked and it was gone.
So for those of you who want to know what going through a deployment is like. It's just like that. One minute your husband is here with you living a life, and the next minute, he is a soldier, miles away from you living a completely different life and all you really have is those moments of life you catalog in your mind and sometimes something as simple as a tv show can trigger that memory and for just a moment you feel peace and warmth and perfection. And then it's just you sitting in bed, tapping away at your netbook wondering if you even came close to conveying what you were feeling.

that "small" annoyance

Have you ever had something you enjoyed doing nearly ruined by an annoying person? The drunk guy at the baseball game, the obnoxious laugher in the movie theater, the loud talker at the restaurant. Well, this week I have had that ongoing experience and I might be at my breaking point. None of us like awkward situations, and I, for one, am not a fan of confrontation, especially with strangers and near acquaintances, but I also dont want the one thing I do just for myself ruined by an overdo-er.
So my issue is this; I go to this really awesome gym, as some of you already know. And I love it. Everyone there is fun, and we have a good time, and its a very positive experience for the most part. Except for this ONE person, who I rarely have had to train with us as they are usually in a different class. This person is a "look at me" person. Loud, obnoxious, always correcting others without being asked, talking over the other trainers, and generally a pain in the ass. This person has the attitude that everyone should be doing prescribed WOD's, and if you don't, you aren't "in". Well this person has been in my class this week, and I'm beginning to dread my workouts. I am interrupted more times than I need to be, and their is tension in the air. I want to say, " Hey, PERSON, your form ain't so hot either. And I don't care to snatch 65lbs, nor do 100 burpees in a day, nor do I feel the need to compete against a white leader board." The spirit of Crossfit is to push yourself to do better than the last minute/workout/weight. Not to push others where you cant succeed.
SO I am sitting here, still in bed, pondering if I should go to class today and face this annoyance. I guess I can at the very least drive by and see who's in the gym. Ugh. Here goes...