Posts
Since my last blog entry was kinda suckish, I'm gonna make it a twofer week. I had some issue with my netbook, then with blogger, then with rushing, and I realized after posting I was missing huge chunks of writing, so really the whole ramble just sounds like I'm being a bitch. I'm not denying that self accusation, but it also wasn't my total intent. Let's just all chalk it up to not being my best work and move on. I feel better, don't you?
So I recently had the privilege of being featured in my towns free newspaper The Hometown Clipper (see Heather Foster:Rolling with the Bettie Brigade).It happened quite by accident,as most important moments in my life do (see pregnancies, FRG leader, PTA board member). A fellow volunteer-er, Beth, writes fantastic articles about local goings-on and I thought getting her in the know of my kick ass derby league would be a great way to get other military chicks within the community involved. I think the topic of roller derby came up naturally, Lord knows I'm a talker, and Beth actually asked if she could do an article about us. "US". As in I thought it would be about the league. I only have myself to blame for the silly picture taken in the bathroom enlarged for all my neighbors to see. I guess I thought the TWO HOURS I spent talking to Beth in the cafe(in my defense,they make a damn good latte) across the street would end up being a blurb on one of the pages, sandwiched in between JBLM traffic, and the SHSD school board meeting. It was a Facebook message that alerted me to the reality of my new found popularity.
What a totally humbling experience.
Imagine my surprise when I walk in, all haggard and grumpy mind you, to the office at school to get some PTA work done, and I am met with cheers and excitement and even autograph -seekers! Is it weird to have the people you sell popcorn to call you Smut Peddler, you ask? Yes...yes it is. But it is also freaking AWESOME. My very own paparazzi in the Secretary staff of an elementary school. I'll take it!
I was already pretty popular in my community. Being the "popcorn lady" has it's perks. But I also know that fame is fleeting. Sure, they love you on popcorn day, but the rest of the month, you're just "in the PTA".
Oh,but the stardom didn't stop here. I had people telling my kids they read about me in the paper, parents that know me were stopping me at Target and Ross to chat me up about my "other life". The secretary at the primary school I volunteer at told me she "wasn't surprised" and then asked me all about joining a league! And so many people made the same comment over and over again... " I had no idea you were into Roller Derby". This leads me to believe that A) people tune me out, and B)ROLLER DERBY IS AWESOME!!
While I know that "A" happens all the time (see my kids for a reference), "B" has become more and more obvious since I was thrust into the spotlight. I wasn't the only person in the news. Our bout had press there to cover the event. The article was in 3 major newspapers that week with huge photos of our derby girls in action. It was like a domino effect, every time we turned around, someone else was alerting us to another article,another source. And just this week, a friend deployed overseas alerted me of the article and coverage of the JBLM Bettie Brigade league in the STARS AND STRIPES!! Yep - takin' it International, baby.
Should I let it go to me head? Meh... like I said, I was already a pretty big deal around town anyways. Kids here wear a t-shirt I designed, for crying out loud! But then again... It's pretty freaking cool when you're name comes up in a google search. And I DO give autographs :)
links to other JBLM articles:
http://www.army.mil/-news/2011/05/05/56078-members-of-the-jblm-bettie-brigade-roller-derby-league-bond-together-and-build-character/
http://www.thenewstribune.com/2011/05/01/1647770/queens-of-bases-bettie-brigade.html
http://www.theolympian.com/2011/05/02/1637027/women-rule-lewis-mcchords-bettie.html
NEED MORE JBLM BETTIE BRIGADE INFO? - BETTIEBRIGADE.COM
OR JUST GOOGLE!!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Monday, May 16, 2011
Fairness and other B.S.
* I was overwhelmed by the response of my last blog entry. First, by the fact that more than 5 people read it (click “FOLLOW” to follow manicmilitarywife), and secondly that so many people connected with my rant. I guess it would make sense to discuss Army life, as my blog is titled The Manic Military Wife. I half assedly promise to include at least one military-esque blog entry per month. Let me say that I was not using my blog to complain about the ARMY, as being an Army wife I am PRO-MILITARY. But I will entertain you with random shenanigans that only other Mil-spouses can truly appreciate.
THANK YOU SWEET READERS!!
Ever heard the phrase “it’s not fair”? Of course you have. Everyone says it. My kids say it daily. But then again… they’re KIDS
This is how it’s played out in my house:
KID - “It’s not fair that ‘sibling’ gets to take a bath”
ME- “It’s because I love ‘sibling’ more”.
This usually works for most scenarios and they have learned that this means DROP IT. Is it nice? No. But I’m a parent, and my job isn’t really to be nice, it’s to teach my kids life lessons and to help them be productive adults when they go out into the world. If I could be nice AND make sure they don’t pick people off with a rifle from a clock tower, then great. Most days niceness isn’t the path that works.
Lately, I have noticed this phrase being used more and more by grown people. I’ll even go as far as to say “adults”, although for some I use this term loosely. “It’s not fair” you say? That’s right, it’s not freakin’ fair… because this is REAL LIFE, where fairness is relative, and expectations are real and there are consequences to your actions. Sometimes you don’t get what you want, sometimes you’re told “NO”. Sometimes (hopefully every time) you are held accountable for your actions.
Fairness and equality are two terms that are very often used for one’s own agenda.
(And this is where the OPINION disclaimer needs to be entered, as I’m sure I will offend.)
Remember the days of having to try out for a team? Or the MVP getting the trophy? Now-a-days it's a free for all, because we can't hurt anyone's feelings, and EVERYONE get's a trophy because somewhere some mom who thought her kid,who picked weeds in the outfield,was just as good as the kid who had natural talent complained enough to disrupt the system. We celebrate mediocrity. Everyone is equal. It's a "team effort". While I agree in team efforts, I also believe that the person who WORKS HARD, PUTS IN THE EFFORT and EXCELS should be celebrated. It gives the other kids (or adults) on the team something to strive for, to set goals, to become better.
Now, if your kid (or you) is the weed picker, you will disagree. If your kid (or you)is in the "natural talent" section, you're giving me a virtual high-five. BUT... If you're weed picker kid is in a different situation... let's say they are asked to participate in a program that you feel their skills have surpassed, well, THEN equality is thrown out the window. EXAMPLE (for those not tracking)... Last year, our daughter was asked to be put in a split class of second and third graders. She was in the third grade. Many parents (including me, for honesty's sake)went ape-y over this. The second grade parents were concerned about the third graders negative influence , the third grade parents were concerned about their kids not being challenged with the second grade curriculum. Let me point out not very many parents were concerned with WHY this was happening *coughbudgetcutsthanksbiggovernemtcough. Two of these parents, who's kids were in the third grade, had just come to a PTA meeting all aflutter about the PTA giving out awards to the "winners" of a certain contest. "We should send the message that we are all winners", they said. Well, yes, but some of us are better winners than others. I guess this would include third graders, as opposed to second graders.
Recently, my youngest kiddo was picked to be on the pre-competition team in the gymnastics program she's in. This was like a huge big deal. She had only been taking classes (the first in her life) for about 10 weeks. She and her sister started in the same class, and when Gracie was asked to try out, and then was accepted, we thought Ruby would be upset, even though she had already stated she wasn't interested in the pre-comp team. At first she praised her little sister for such an awesome accomplishment, but I could tell there was a little jealousy. I talked to Ruby about it, and how she had stated the pre-comp team wasn't really her thing, but that it was OK to change her mind. The next 4 weeks Ruby worked really hard to improve her skills. She practiced at home, flipping off the couch, kipping up the side of her bunk bed, spending recess getting callouses on her hands from spinning around the playground bars. Her determination paid off, and she was asked to try-out for the pre-comp team last week. She never once played the "fairness" card. And you know what else? She was PROUD of herself.
Now, I could have been the mom that complained about the program, or put her in a class that she would never feel the need to challenge herself in because at the end of the session everyone got a medal. None of us Moms want to see our kiddos hurt or feel left out. But not "making the cut" is a life lesson. It's how we rebound from the disappointment that shapes the athlete or scholar.
Think about it: How many times did you QUIT something because it got hard? Or you weren't master of the universe? I can easily raise my hand in shame. And I'm sure I thought it "wasn't fair".
These blabbering and horn tooting examples are just my way to express my frustration with the amount of people I hear complaining about their lives. It's not always going to be rosy, and while I don't except everyone to always have a smile in the face of adversity, don't use "it's not fair" or "I'm not being treated equally" if you're just pissed off because you A) lost, B) were put in your place, or C)life happened. There are a slew of woman, African Americans and Gays that could tell YOU about "Fairness".
THANK YOU SWEET READERS!!
Ever heard the phrase “it’s not fair”? Of course you have. Everyone says it. My kids say it daily. But then again… they’re KIDS
This is how it’s played out in my house:
KID - “It’s not fair that ‘sibling’ gets to take a bath”
ME- “It’s because I love ‘sibling’ more”.
This usually works for most scenarios and they have learned that this means DROP IT. Is it nice? No. But I’m a parent, and my job isn’t really to be nice, it’s to teach my kids life lessons and to help them be productive adults when they go out into the world. If I could be nice AND make sure they don’t pick people off with a rifle from a clock tower, then great. Most days niceness isn’t the path that works.
Lately, I have noticed this phrase being used more and more by grown people. I’ll even go as far as to say “adults”, although for some I use this term loosely. “It’s not fair” you say? That’s right, it’s not freakin’ fair… because this is REAL LIFE, where fairness is relative, and expectations are real and there are consequences to your actions. Sometimes you don’t get what you want, sometimes you’re told “NO”. Sometimes (hopefully every time) you are held accountable for your actions.
Fairness and equality are two terms that are very often used for one’s own agenda.
(And this is where the OPINION disclaimer needs to be entered, as I’m sure I will offend.)
Remember the days of having to try out for a team? Or the MVP getting the trophy? Now-a-days it's a free for all, because we can't hurt anyone's feelings, and EVERYONE get's a trophy because somewhere some mom who thought her kid,who picked weeds in the outfield,was just as good as the kid who had natural talent complained enough to disrupt the system. We celebrate mediocrity. Everyone is equal. It's a "team effort". While I agree in team efforts, I also believe that the person who WORKS HARD, PUTS IN THE EFFORT and EXCELS should be celebrated. It gives the other kids (or adults) on the team something to strive for, to set goals, to become better.
Now, if your kid (or you) is the weed picker, you will disagree. If your kid (or you)is in the "natural talent" section, you're giving me a virtual high-five. BUT... If you're weed picker kid is in a different situation... let's say they are asked to participate in a program that you feel their skills have surpassed, well, THEN equality is thrown out the window. EXAMPLE (for those not tracking)... Last year, our daughter was asked to be put in a split class of second and third graders. She was in the third grade. Many parents (including me, for honesty's sake)went ape-y over this. The second grade parents were concerned about the third graders negative influence , the third grade parents were concerned about their kids not being challenged with the second grade curriculum. Let me point out not very many parents were concerned with WHY this was happening *coughbudgetcutsthanksbiggovernemtcough. Two of these parents, who's kids were in the third grade, had just come to a PTA meeting all aflutter about the PTA giving out awards to the "winners" of a certain contest. "We should send the message that we are all winners", they said. Well, yes, but some of us are better winners than others. I guess this would include third graders, as opposed to second graders.
Recently, my youngest kiddo was picked to be on the pre-competition team in the gymnastics program she's in. This was like a huge big deal. She had only been taking classes (the first in her life) for about 10 weeks. She and her sister started in the same class, and when Gracie was asked to try out, and then was accepted, we thought Ruby would be upset, even though she had already stated she wasn't interested in the pre-comp team. At first she praised her little sister for such an awesome accomplishment, but I could tell there was a little jealousy. I talked to Ruby about it, and how she had stated the pre-comp team wasn't really her thing, but that it was OK to change her mind. The next 4 weeks Ruby worked really hard to improve her skills. She practiced at home, flipping off the couch, kipping up the side of her bunk bed, spending recess getting callouses on her hands from spinning around the playground bars. Her determination paid off, and she was asked to try-out for the pre-comp team last week. She never once played the "fairness" card. And you know what else? She was PROUD of herself.
Now, I could have been the mom that complained about the program, or put her in a class that she would never feel the need to challenge herself in because at the end of the session everyone got a medal. None of us Moms want to see our kiddos hurt or feel left out. But not "making the cut" is a life lesson. It's how we rebound from the disappointment that shapes the athlete or scholar.
Think about it: How many times did you QUIT something because it got hard? Or you weren't master of the universe? I can easily raise my hand in shame. And I'm sure I thought it "wasn't fair".
These blabbering and horn tooting examples are just my way to express my frustration with the amount of people I hear complaining about their lives. It's not always going to be rosy, and while I don't except everyone to always have a smile in the face of adversity, don't use "it's not fair" or "I'm not being treated equally" if you're just pissed off because you A) lost, B) were put in your place, or C)life happened. There are a slew of woman, African Americans and Gays that could tell YOU about "Fairness".
Thursday, May 5, 2011
MAKING SACRIFICES
Let me start off by saying I woke up with an urge to punch someone (anyone, not a specific person)in the face today. This blog will most likely by angry rantings, but as it is MY blog I am taking this time to give my OPINIONS on things. This is not an opinions column, and if you disagree with whatever it is I am ranting about, feel free NOT to comment. This is also fair warning to not read this weeks edition of The Manic Military Wife. Thank you.
Yesterday, someone said to my husband " sometimes you have to make sacrifices." Just typing it sends me into a rage. I am a fucking Army Wife( there goes my adsense approval). Don't even talk to me about sacrifices. I could fill a lake with the sacrifices this family has made in the last 6 1/2 years. Back to back deployments, having to FIGHT to get one year stabilization, being counseled on said stabilization, rumors of marriage troubles because my husband requested, simply, to be home for 365 days in a row, as promised by his battalion AND the CIC. Was he trying to get out of a deployment? Nope. Just wanted his 365, or a week and a half after deployment date. Derek had to SACRIFICE a family camping trip to go home for the death of his grandfather, feeling the need so desperately because he's missed three already. We have SACRIFICED birthdays, holidays , firsts, lasts, sex, money, moves, wants, needs, sleep, time (we will never get back), bedtime stories, kisses awards, plays, conferences. The only time I've seen Derek get an award or promotion was when I pinned his 2LT bar on him at OCS. He is now a CPT. With a chest full of accolades. We have a daughter who was just a few months old the first time Derek deployed, and is now 7. He has been to 3 of her birthday parties. We sacrificed 18 months, then 3.5 months, then 15 months, then 12 months of our life with only ONE full 365 days at home EVER thrown in there. Don't fucking talk to ME about sacrifice.
This isn't me wining about my husbands job. We read the fine print, we knew about the war going on. We knew about deployments. We new we would be making SACRIFICES. This is more about how OTHERS perceive said sacrifices in relation to themselves.
We are PCS-ing (moving) at the end of this summer. Derek is tasked to do a training exercise on a different continent this summer. A 6 week exercise smack dab in the middle of when we need to be packing up, and clearing out. For my non-mil readers -6 weeks may seem like time o'plenty.HA! PCS-ing is an involved process that includes making appointments well in advance to have your household goods packed and shipped to an address your not even sure of yet. And paperwork paperwork paperwork for out processing. 5 days worth just for him. I have to make sure medical records are all accounted for in the electronic system,all shots are up to date and in our possession and NOT PACKED, find housing in a different state, hope you get on the housing list before arrival, and that housing is available when you get there, book accommodations for your last 5 days in this state and your first 5 in the next.PLAN and Pack for a road trip across the country, with at least two kids and a dog. Don't even get me started on the older kid and what she'll need. All this and a hundred other things have to be taken care of. And it looks like it will have to be done by ME. Which sucks because you can't take a shit in the Army when your soldier is gone without a SPECIFIC POWER OF ATTORNEY.
Question: why would you send a person who is essentially down to less than 90 days at BN on a training exercise for the BN?!?!
Also - why did you keep his name on the roster when you KNEW three months ago his orders were coming?
So this summer, instead of easing our kids into a transition (they will make TWO next school year), we will be pressed on even making it to school before it starts. No time to make friends in the neighborhood, or get unpacked, or to even miss where you left, really. They will most likely be living in a hotel when they start school and we can only hope that the school they start in will be the one they stay in.
*Also, if you're a relative and reading this - don't make any plans for us. We'll basically be driving in,sleeping and leaving again. Sorry.
It will be fine, because we're a military family and we've dealt with this kind of crap before. You put your big girl panties on and you get shit done. We know about sacrifice.
But what I really want to say to that motherfucker who made that statement to my husband is:
If we sometimes have to make sacrifices, why don't YOU make the sacrifice? Why don't you take one for the team so that my kids don't have to? Just this time. Because this isn't really Derek who is making the sacrifice, it's his kids. And you are a total buttfuck for even making a comment like that in the first place.
Yesterday, someone said to my husband " sometimes you have to make sacrifices." Just typing it sends me into a rage. I am a fucking Army Wife( there goes my adsense approval). Don't even talk to me about sacrifices. I could fill a lake with the sacrifices this family has made in the last 6 1/2 years. Back to back deployments, having to FIGHT to get one year stabilization, being counseled on said stabilization, rumors of marriage troubles because my husband requested, simply, to be home for 365 days in a row, as promised by his battalion AND the CIC. Was he trying to get out of a deployment? Nope. Just wanted his 365, or a week and a half after deployment date. Derek had to SACRIFICE a family camping trip to go home for the death of his grandfather, feeling the need so desperately because he's missed three already. We have SACRIFICED birthdays, holidays , firsts, lasts, sex, money, moves, wants, needs, sleep, time (we will never get back), bedtime stories, kisses awards, plays, conferences. The only time I've seen Derek get an award or promotion was when I pinned his 2LT bar on him at OCS. He is now a CPT. With a chest full of accolades. We have a daughter who was just a few months old the first time Derek deployed, and is now 7. He has been to 3 of her birthday parties. We sacrificed 18 months, then 3.5 months, then 15 months, then 12 months of our life with only ONE full 365 days at home EVER thrown in there. Don't fucking talk to ME about sacrifice.
This isn't me wining about my husbands job. We read the fine print, we knew about the war going on. We knew about deployments. We new we would be making SACRIFICES. This is more about how OTHERS perceive said sacrifices in relation to themselves.
We are PCS-ing (moving) at the end of this summer. Derek is tasked to do a training exercise on a different continent this summer. A 6 week exercise smack dab in the middle of when we need to be packing up, and clearing out. For my non-mil readers -6 weeks may seem like time o'plenty.HA! PCS-ing is an involved process that includes making appointments well in advance to have your household goods packed and shipped to an address your not even sure of yet. And paperwork paperwork paperwork for out processing. 5 days worth just for him. I have to make sure medical records are all accounted for in the electronic system,all shots are up to date and in our possession and NOT PACKED, find housing in a different state, hope you get on the housing list before arrival, and that housing is available when you get there, book accommodations for your last 5 days in this state and your first 5 in the next.PLAN and Pack for a road trip across the country, with at least two kids and a dog. Don't even get me started on the older kid and what she'll need. All this and a hundred other things have to be taken care of. And it looks like it will have to be done by ME. Which sucks because you can't take a shit in the Army when your soldier is gone without a SPECIFIC POWER OF ATTORNEY.
Question: why would you send a person who is essentially down to less than 90 days at BN on a training exercise for the BN?!?!
Also - why did you keep his name on the roster when you KNEW three months ago his orders were coming?
So this summer, instead of easing our kids into a transition (they will make TWO next school year), we will be pressed on even making it to school before it starts. No time to make friends in the neighborhood, or get unpacked, or to even miss where you left, really. They will most likely be living in a hotel when they start school and we can only hope that the school they start in will be the one they stay in.
*Also, if you're a relative and reading this - don't make any plans for us. We'll basically be driving in,sleeping and leaving again. Sorry.
It will be fine, because we're a military family and we've dealt with this kind of crap before. You put your big girl panties on and you get shit done. We know about sacrifice.
But what I really want to say to that motherfucker who made that statement to my husband is:
If we sometimes have to make sacrifices, why don't YOU make the sacrifice? Why don't you take one for the team so that my kids don't have to? Just this time. Because this isn't really Derek who is making the sacrifice, it's his kids. And you are a total buttfuck for even making a comment like that in the first place.
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